12/11/2013. Gloomy birthday.

Hello. It's 9:11PM and I started to feel sleepy.
But I don't want to sleep yet.
So, today is 12th November 2013 which means my 20th birthday.
Welcome to young adult era, Shasha.
I didn't notice any difference yet so it's just another normal day for me.
My sis bought me a cake. We ate it together then go to each others' room.
It's not really a celebration to be honest.
Well, it's fine. I understand that they're kind of busy and tired.

I'm quite disappointed at how some of my friends and acquaintances didn't wish me yet.
They knew my birthday but they seems to forgot it or they don't have time for me.
It's okay sha. It makes no difference. They'll eventually leave and forget everything about you.

Been lying here on my bed for the whole day. Nothing special to do.
As I stare blankly onto the ceiling, thoughts starting to fill in my mind.
And of course, the majority is negative.
I feel so useless. I've been feeling this way for as long as I remember.
Doing nothing, being unproductive, not even a single change.
I envy those who work, study and do some good deeds.
You never know how stressful it is to be this way.
It becomes more stressful when no one really understand you.
They'll said "you're just lazy and effortless." or "stop being whiny. isn't it good to sit and do nothing?".
I swear. You never know.
You never know how much I want to change and being productive.
You never know so stop judging me.

Listening to That Winter, The Wind Blows OST just add in the sadness and sorrow feelings.
Tears falling unknowingly as I keep on thinking.
Somehow I think I'm at my limit but I wonder why am I still survive?
It's all thanks to Allah.

I miss him. My love.
I miss his laugh, his smile, his voice, his everything.
I need him to cheer me up. To make me strong.
If only I'm given a chance to hug him and cry in his embrace once. /sighs/

Summary.
It's a gloomy birthday for me.

-THE END-

Oh wait. It's not the end yet. /lol/
He surprised me before my birthday ends!
I tweeted to him "My birthday almost end. Can I at least get a good night selca as a present? :("
And tadaaa~ He tweeted a selca after few seconds with a caption "Good night Angels♥"! Kyaaaa~ I'm dying! /lol/
This is why I love you baby boo! ♥♥♥♥
It's a bittersweet birthday for me. :P