life.

hi bloggie..
how are you? hope you doing fine..
don't be like your owner.. *sigh*

okay.. referring to the title..
L.I.F.E......
do you know what it means?
to be honest, me myself didn't know how to explain..
but i know for sure.. it's unfair, kinda happy and painful..
well, i think it's only for me..
to others, enjoy your life and learn how to appreciate it.. :)

ya Allah.. please hear me..
i know i'm wrong.. i only look for you in my hardness time..
it's my biggest fault in life..
i didn't realized.. every happiness that i've been through.. it's all because of YOU..
all my life.. since i was just a kid, i never had a wonderful life..
in family aspects, economy, and not to mention, relationships..
it's okay.. i know there's hikmah behind it..
but i wonder why.. until now.. i still 'tidak sedar'..
i rarely think about You.. i'm being selfish..
i forgot Your existence..
ya Allah.. please give me chance..
give me hidayah.. i badly need it..
lead me to a better way..
forgive all my sins..
insyaAllah.. i will learn to be a better person..
i need Your lead ya Allah..

the reason i don't feel better now is the same old things..
who knew me, they will surely can catch what i'm trying to say..
ya Allah.. seriously.. i need someone to lean on now..
not just someone.. it's THAT someone..
i need him.. i had a feeling, only him can understand me..
why are you so far away? i'm in this kind of situation, seriously i need you..
how i wish this year will end much faster..
if needed, i will run away from here.. i won't continue this pre-u test..
i can't focus! dammit..
it'll be good if you're here.. to encourage me.. T^T
i guess i'll have to wait a lil more time.. *sigh*

that's all for today..
i'm moody..

its okay..

long time no update bloggie..

i dont want to explain why..

its been always the same reason.. *sigh*

today i skipped fast.. my head feels like about to blow..

plus gastric's attacking me..

aigooo~ so many health problem.. >.<

actually, i think its also bcoz of stress..

i admit it.. i am damn fu**ing stress these days.. -__-"

bcoz of school, friends, feelings and also family..

i am such a strong girl coz i still can smile and pretend like there's nothing happened! XD

i am proud of myself! haha!

but.. its hurting me..

i dont know who will be the most suitable person to share with..

my mouth wont say anything when it comes to my own problem..

i just dont know why..

i'm thinking on deactivating my FB and change this bloggie into a private diary..

its not confirm yet, just maybe..

that's all for today..

bbyong~

Dropping Rain~

Smiling as you say goodbye,
You said to me "be happy, as though nothing wrong"
Looking your back as your walked away
I prayed you wouldn't cry because of me
If I see the flowing tears
I can't leave
I can't let you go
Because the rain was falling
It was really ok
I couldn't see your tears..

it was ok
it's all right..

I couldn't hold you back
cause the rain that could wiped out all the painful memories in your heart was falling down
time passed,
You thought you could forget
It seemed as if nothing was alive
Looking your back while you walk alone
Even today the rain fall down..

I tried to stop
Your tears that were flowing
But it's not possible for me to make you smile
Because the rain was falling..

It was really ok
I couldn't see your tears
It was ok
It's alright..

I couldn't hold you back
'cause the rain that could wiped out all the painful memories in your heart was falling down'..

Don't go
Don't leave..

I'll say this words to your heart
Because your heart was crying and the rain was falling
Because my heart was crying
My tears falls down
Because I loved you
I couldn't hold you back..

I'll Embrace the sorrow in your clear and gentle life
I thought I may become the rain..

thanks a lot.. :)

heartbreaking..

do u even know what that means?

people these days is hard to understand..

hard to believe..

but..

i've found u..

u changed my whole world..

every time i'm down, u always be there for me..

give me support.. to get through this cruel world..

i never though that u would be so meaningful to me..

so wonderful.. until its hard for me to describe it by words..

u are someone that i can lean on..

someone who will protect me with ur whole life..

when i faced the hardest obstacles in life..

even though u are so far away from here,

i still can feel the feelings that we shared..

i'm sorry for everything..

for leaving u always..

from now on..

i'll always believe that..

u are the angel.. that was sent to me from heaven.. :')

funny moments! XD

yesterday and today was a good day for me..
i think so.. huhu
i've done many stupid things.. and also people around me..
i dont know why it would happened..
but its fun, okay?? XD
anyway, it helps me a lot to heal my heart..
while i'm in this situation..
thanks a lot to all of them..
especially my siztas, also iena & fazreen.. :)


since i'm bored now, nobody's around..
i'm going to introduce these 3 people.. huhu


1st, this lil kiddo here..
he's not a kid anyway, his way of thinking is MORE matured than me.. :P
his name is Fazreen.. new student at my school..
he came from SMK Tawau.. now at Science Stream..
a best friend of Hanani and Iena.. since me and him newly became close friends yesterday..
special introduction? many people admire him..
really.. too many..
i just dont know why.. seriously.. =.="


2nd, Iena Amier.. the crazy girl.. haha! XD
we known each other since form 4.. and became best friends since last year..
we shared, laughed, cried and argued a lot..
the last time we laughed hardly was yesterday at her house, Taman Muhibbah.. :P
special introduction? she's the cutie one! ^^


3rd, Hanani Lee.. the BIT** girl.. hahaha! jokes.. mianhae~ XD
me and her became best friends since form 2, when i transferred to her class, 2USM..
and our besties relationship lasted until now! we are 18th already.. ^^
special introduction? she's the most crazy, yet fun to be around.. ;)


since only them that i considered as my closest school friends, thats all laa..
there are many.. but i dont know how to explain it..
so, dont be sad guys.. next time will be ur turn.. huhu ^^
(i hope they wont read this post)


i'm really happy with these guys.. thanx a lot!
i hope we'll become more closer than we are now..
aminnnn~ ^^


thats all for today..
annyeong~ ^_^

cut it out!

*MANGLISH mode*


i am so SEDIH right now..
i feel like want to TANYA him..
what had JADI between us now?
i am so not FAHAM.. huuuu~
enough with the manglish mode..-.-


all i can say here is..
when she need u, u ALWAYS be there for her..
but when i need u, where the hell have u been??
seriously, i'm not jealous..
but in current unstable situation right now, i am really need u..
i always looked for u, but u're not around..
i understand that u're busy and have many other important things to do..
well, good luck.. *sigh*


thats all..
i wont be around anymore..
i know u dont need me either..
annyeong~